Hi, everybody!
My name is Dr. Jack Gross and I've come here to give you the medical advice you have been looking for. I became a licensed Medical Doctor of Bacterial Science at Street University. I would like to pass my knowledge on you. A lot of you out there know quite a lot about medicine, or have a friend who is a medical expert. Instead of you having to go to your friends to medical advice, go ahead and come here! Over I am happy to answer any questions you might have. Sure, you can go see a doctor in your area and receive expensive hands on treatment, OR you can come here. I have some great things to say!
My first topic of discussion will be about weight loss...
Obesity is an increasing epidemic in the United States. It's spreading so fast that seventy eight percent of Americans are considered obese according to the Medical Union of Street University. This means that 9 out of every 10 people reading this are obese (people who surf blogs tend to be fatter).
While your mother, and grandmother often made you eat green vegetables such as spinach, lettuce and green beans, my cutting edge studies show that you should avoid the green vegetables. These vegetables contain calories, which is defined as the amount of energy it takes to heat one cup of water by one degree. If you consume ten thousand calories worth of green vegetables, this will take several days to digest, consequently leading you to obesity.
Another repercussion of the digestion of green vegetables is the waste disposal process. Have you ever noticed that vegetarians fart more than those who eat meat and vegetables? Keep away from the high fibers and you should be fine.
Professionally, I recommend that when you have a craving for green beans, you stick to Tootsie Rolls for the alternative. While Tootsie Rolls have a high amount of sugar per square inch, they are very small. Ninety-five percent of Americans prefer the flavor of Tootsie Rolls to green beans, so it is a tastier decision as well!
When craving a lettuce salad, I would suggest a 12 Oz. New York Strip Steak. Often when you go to a restaurant, a lettuce salad is served before the steak is sent out. When you are eating this, what you are doing is adding more calories in. If you eat too many calories you will gain weight. Tell your waitor/waitress to go ahead and send it back. If you are cooking at home, and feel the need for a vegetable option, try marinating the strip steak in an onion steak marinade. Also some steak sauces have an artificial tomato flavoring. This should help keep those calorie-filled veggies off your mind.
I'll be stopping back as frequently as I can. Thank you for reading. Stay away from those greens, and if needed, I'm here as your personal licensed BS Doctor!
Do you have any other medical concerns that I can assist with?
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